28. r/antiwork. Everybody complains about politicians. ", 23. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. You only get to hear cats. George Carlin: Dumb Americans (2006) - Full Transcript A unique user identifier cookie, set by Microsoft Application Insights software, that enables counting of the number of users accessing the application over time. Remembering George Carlin : NPR They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! ", 64. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". We're all fucked," Carlin once said. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This cookie is set by Eloqua. The legendary comic, who died in 2008 at the age of 71, is also the subject of an upcoming two-part documentary, George Carlins American Dream, which debuts on HBO Max later this month: By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. "I was a loner as a child. ", 94. ", 77. Believe me, my friend. "I don't have pet peeves. 125 George Carlin Quotes to Make You Laugh, Smile and Think George Carlin's Wise Words On Politicians I think. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. 02. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? ", 14. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube George Carlin. This cookie expires after 30 minutes but the timer is reset if the visitor visits a new page on the site before the cookie expires. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. I'm f**kin' serious! With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. An Adobe Analytics cookie that uses a unique visitor ID time/date stamp to identify a unique vistor to the website. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? It helps in improving the performance. You think your current financial. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. ", 92. I'm used to dogs. ", 30. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. Thats the problem. You dont. Everybodys going to save something now. You have owners. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. This is the best we can do, folks. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. ", 119. ", 104. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . A Death! You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! ", 79. Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. The sp_landing is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? This cookie is set by Prebid Server. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. After that, they don't wanna know about you. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 60 George Carlin Quotes to Help You Find Humor in Life - Quote Ambition The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. That's generally been true. I have major psychotic f**king hatreds. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. They OWN YOU. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. ", 52. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. 43. . - Arthur Baer. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. 41. Forget the politicians. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. (LogOut/ I'm a cowboy who . This cookie is native to PHP applications. 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. Fewer Texans. At all. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. It will not be with jack-boots. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . (LogOut/ It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in It: George Carlin as Social and George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE Who Does George Carlin Represent? | by Michael Thompson | Medium