Jordan Belfort: Bald. If you agree to the divorce right now, I will allow visitation. Oh, I'm good with water for now. Jordan Belfort: The movie also features the "One of Us" chant, which is a reference to the 1930s horror movie Freaks. it's partly due to dicaprio. The movie depicts Jordan Belforts reckless adventures from his rise to a wealthy stockbroker to his seduction and free-fall into corruption, drug abuse, excess and ultimately imprisonment. OK. What a Greek tragedy honey! You're sick! Donnie Azoff: You don't love me anymore, huh? Honestly, I'm not bullshitting here, this is one of the nicest boats that I've ever been on. Jordan Belfort: Why why why god, why would you be so cruel as to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants to take me down! Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. You be relentless! [Naomi walks in on a gay orgy] I can get you beer if you want fuckin' beer. Don't you dare throw that fucking water on me! Babe, why you doing it like that? Brad: Oh, my God! So before I approve this midget-tossing business, you need to find me a game warden who can rein in the little critter if he should go off the deep end. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Hey, pal. S-so if I, if I sell a stock at $10,000, my commission is 5,000 bucks. Pick up the phone and start dialing! Jun 17, 2013, 7:25 AM. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: Hey, what are the citizens of Fucksville doing today when their emperor's gone? Gentlemen, welcome to Stratton Oakmont. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: Naomi Lapaglia: Except for that one time. So you listen to me and you listen well. The Wolf of Wall Street is one of the most iconic films of the 21st century Credit: Alamy. They're called telephones. Jordan Belfort: Donnie Azoff: I don't even listen to it. Am I crazy? The real question is this: was all this legal? It recounts Belfort's perspective on his career as a stockbroker in New York City and how his firm, Stratton Oakmont, engaged in rampant . It's not like that. I'm gonna have Heidi lick some caviar off my balls in the meantime. Jordan Belfort: This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. You had to deal with the Golf Course people too! 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Like, we grew up together, and she grew up hot, you know, she fucking grew up hot. Is it Wednesday already? Jesus Christ. Jordan Belfort: The story is the memoir of Jordan Belfort, a Long Island kid played by Leonardo DiCaprio who rose to become a millionaire penny stock scammer and boiler-room boss. Donnie Azoff: Naomi Lapaglia: Fuck you! "Has Brad apologized yet? Cinemark How are you doing today? Jordan Belfort: [dubious] Get off me! I've already talked to the lawyer. I dont even listen to it half the time. Jordan Belfort, Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. I understand perfectly, you American shit. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: I'm gonna take custody of the kids. See those little black boxes? And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. I want you to fuck me real hard. Jordan Belfort: Three or four times, maybe five. Then came the Pink Sheet hookers, who were the lowest form of all, usually a streetwalker or the sort of low-class hooker who showed up in response to a desperate late-night phone call to a number in Screw magazine or the yellow pages. Naomi Lapaglia: Its because you have not learnt enough. The truth was that hookers did take credit cardsor at least ours did! Jordan Belfort: Money doesn't just buy you a better life - better food, better cars, better pussy - it also makes you a better person. Best The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes. So I recruited some of my home town boys. Looking for the best quotes from The Wolf of Wall Street? Every person around here, they want to get rich and they want to get rich quickly. Don't you wanna be my friend? Do it differently each time. Im gonna let you in on a little secret about these telephones. Captain Ted Beecham: Drama, You know what I mean? Even more fucked, is that he got busted for shit that had nothing to do with me. Everyone wants to get rich. Jordan Belfort: Bears. Donnie Azoff: I don't even know. Across the Verrazano's Bridge. I'm not gonna let someone, you know, one of these assholes fuck my cousin. Jordan Belfort: Pick up the phone and start dialing! Naomi Lapaglia: Naomi Lapaglia: I'm not ashamed to admit it: my first time in prison, I was terrified. But who the fuck wanted to live there? Jordan Belfort, Let me tell you something. Jordan Belfort: And I wanna meet Willy fuckin' Wonka, okay? , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Are you out of your fucking mind? But we were making more money than we knew what do with. Eventually Ben married her, which was pretty amazing, considering she blew every single guy in the office. I dont care whose birthday it is. Donnie Azoff, Its business. You're gonna give me a pass? They're not buying shit. Companies these people know. Does your girlfriend think youre fucking worthless loser? A place for mercenaries. Jordan Belfort: Something about laundering drug money through offshore boat racing and a guy named Rocky Aoki, you know the founder of Benihanna. A former model and Miller Lite girl. Jordan Belfort: Hi, how you doing? Mark Hanna: I keep the rhythm below the belt. Go on. Bang, bang, bang. Mark Hanna: Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, Act as if! Say what you will, but the Duchess did have style. Based on Jordan Belfort's autobiography. There is no such thing as bad publicity. The jet skis just went overboard! Jordan Belfort: It was obscene, in the normal world. Movie Info. The Wolf of Wall Street by Jordan Belfort 34,928 ratings, 3.73 average rating, 2,462 reviews Open Preview The Wolf of Wall Street Quotes Showing 1-27 of 27 "Act as if! People tend to give up. You were, like, screaming at people. If anyone is gonna fuck my cousin it's gonna be me, out of out of respect, you know? What, if the kid's retarded? It's got no no alcohol. Act as if you're a wealthy man, rich already, and then you'll surely become rich. Brad: it's possibly the best acting he's done in anything but it's also to do with the presentation. Right, right. Baby, you know you got real anger issues. And you know something else, daddy? Its not fucking real. Mark Hanna, Gotta pump those numbers up. Oh my God! With Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey. with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. You don't think I'm gonna see my fucking kids again, huh? The show goes on! Teresa Petrillo: The Wolf of Wall Street streaming: where to watch online? If anyone's gonna fuck my cousin, it's gonna be me. Pick up the phone and start dialing! Give him time. Jordan Belfort: You're a father now, Jordan. Huh? I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Brooklyn. Yeah. [narration] So, Bay Ridge, that's near Staten Island, right? Regal Jean Jacques Saurel: [All at once] I mean, you're not afraid of like the whole kid thing, right? And if anyone here thinks I'm superficial or materialistic, go get a job at fucking McDonald's, 'cause that's where you fucking belong! You okay? But of all the drugs under God's blue heaven, here is one that is my absolute favorite. But there's a big chance, right? Jordan Belfort: Supply and demand, my friend. Jordan Belfort: Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable, ugly fucking wives. You know? You could pay off your mortgage. Its fairy dust. Jordan Belfort: Don't you fucking Duchess me! You're doing fucking drugs right now? Oh, my God. And they're all shaved too. That spoke volumes, didnt it?, The three of us exchanged glances but said nothing. Sweetheart, you should be happy for the both of us. Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today. Hold on baby. Jordan Belfort: Because at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo, wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold fucking watch! Jordan Belfort, See those little black boxes? Oh come on, baby. I will not die sober! I gotta tell you. I don't have jack-shit. It'll keep you sharp between the ears. Does it even matter to you that I just had that driving range sodded with Bermuda grass, Jordan, and now you fucking wrecked it! Jordan Belfort: Yeah, there's something a little bit different about his eyes. [to Naomi] [offers pen to Chester] Act as if you have unmatched experience and then people will follow your advice. It had nothing to fucking do with me! Shit about you and your cousin or something like that. ~ Teresa Petrillo. They all want something for nothing. I've never been a fan of the bush, to be honest. Chester, who sold tires and weed. Yeah, no. Donnie, what the fuck are you doing, you piece of shit? Jordan Belfort: I love you so much. California, baby! Some stuff about running drugs with Rocky Aoki, you know, the founder of Benihana? So I, you know, used the cousin thing as like like an in with her. In fact, she's decided to throw them all away. You can't even buy them anymore. Martin Scorsese 's The Wolf of Wall Street is a darkly comedic portrayal of unrestrained Wall Street hedonism and greed that ranks among the maestro's greatest works of the last decade. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Yeah. He thinks you're fuckin' Gordon Gekko. And actually do some work besides swiping my fucking credit card all day, huh? Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Donnie Azoff: Are you sure? Brad: Once in the morning after I work out, once after lunch. This is a fucking mayday! The porterhouse from Argentina. Most of the quotes by Jordan Belfort are very inspiring and Ive even included some funny quotes from the movie. Naomi Lapaglia: Jordan Belfort: Brad: While he runs his activity with rather questionable methods, he lives a stormy relationship . Jordan Belfort: But, you drink enough and you drink a lot and it'll get you fucked up? I don't even know who Venice is. This is Brad, and Brad is the guy I really wanted. Oh yeah. I'm still hard. Dwayne: Like the whole Donnie Azoff: It's never landed. Do you jerk off? I mean, who the fuck wanted to live there? They were everywhere! The Wolf Of Wall Street earned five Oscar . The sides did cure cancer, that's the problem, that's why they were so expensive. Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: Yeah I'm sure. I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. Good luck on that subway ride home to your miserable ugly fuckin' wives. I think you have a fuckin' drug problem. Jordan Belfort: I got my wife checking the messages every forty-five minutes calling the office saying. Get off me! Jordan Belfort: Jordan Belfort: No, no, this can be explained. Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you. Nicholas the Butler: Mark Hanna: Fun coupons! Hey, John. I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. [sigh of relief] And all my friends are trying to fuck her, you know, and I'm not gonna let one of these assholes fuck my cousin. What are you, a fuckin owl? Naomi Lapaglia, Oh my God! Patrick Denham: Required fields are marked *. Oh baby. Back in the 1990s, Belfort ran. You're almost there! Jordan Belfort: With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Wolf Of Wall Street animated GIFs to your conversations. Jordan Belfort: Cause I cant keep track of your professions honey! So I used the cousin thing, as like, an in with her. If you don't do it, the stress of this job, it'll make you explode. Hey Paulie, what's up? It is no matter. "Fuck this, shit that. It's not fucking real. The year I turned 26, as the head of my own brokerage firm, I made $49 million, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week. Don't worry about it, I got it. No? What are these sides? They're wrapped in sheets. We are here to make money! Well, like you said there's no friends on Wall Street. Donnie Azoff: I'm not like, gonna let someone else fuck my cousin, you know? No, they're not retarded or anything like that Jordan Belfort: I haven't made love to you in so long. [hears a phone] And in the case of Aerotyne, based on every technical factor out there, John, we are looking at a grand slam home run. You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? Naomi Lapaglia: New world. So I was a little surprised you asked Christie for my number. Let me know in the comments and please share this post to help and inspire others. Because, at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of the limo, wearing a $2000 suit and a $40,000 gold fuckin' watch. Trust me. The name of the company, Aerotyne International. Naomi Lapaglia: Right? Your profit on a mere $6,000 investment could be upwards of $60,000! Well, technically, $72,000 last month. Jordan Belfort: Gotta pump those numbers up. That was you! John: Anyway, the Blue Chips took credit cards, so what was wrong with writing them off on your taxes? We don't give two shits about how technology works, 'cause all we care about is getting fucking RICH! Not a stitch. It's like lasers. When you do something, you might fail. Jordan Belfort: It doesn't exist. We're not gonna be friends. Listen to me, if you piss up the SEC's leg, you end up with your tits in a wringer. And I hate fucking chess!, And my wifewell, I guess shed earned her scene with me, but still; did she really have that much reason to be angry? Huh? Money talks and bullshit takes the bus. Naomi Lapaglia: fucking digits. Aunt Emma: Theyre not buying shit. Alden Kupferberg, Who? I got a blinkling light because I don't have shit from you. You can give generously to your church or political party of your choice. Jordan Belfort, You wanna know what money sounds like? It wasn't even a choice. If you don't, you will fall out of balance, split your differential and tip the fuck over. Once in the morning, right after I work out, then once right after lunch. Fucking whore. Donnie Azoff: FBI! Jordan Belfort: I'm going to hell, Jordan! Jordan Belfort: I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my "back pain", Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine Well, because it's awesome. Like, "Run free!" Chester Ming: Look at yourself! The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. Oh, you don't love me? Get those fucking ludes! Pick up the phone and start dialing! It's wonderful. Yeah. Mark Hanna: Share the best GIFs now >>> Thats who youre gonna be sitting next to! Jordan Belfort, You be ferocious, you be relentless, you be telephone fucking terrorists Jordan Belfort, Let me give you some legal advice: Shut the fuck up! Agent Patrick Denham, Im not fucking leaving! You know what a fugazi is? It's a whazy. You want me to sell you this fucking pen? Absolutely fucking not. He actually went to law school. Jordan Belfort: You're not fucking taking my fucking kids! You have to unlearn all the thoughts that were making you poor and replace them with new thoughts rich thoughts. Jordan Belfort, The easiest way to make money is create something of such value that everybody wants and go out and give and create value, the money comes automatically. Jordan Belfort, Money is the oxygen of capitalism and I wanna breathe more than any man alive. Jordan Belfort, Act as if! Alden Kupferberg, the Sea Otter, didn't even graduate. Jordan Belfort: Fuzzy Bear over there? Who is the one who flew in here at 3:00 in the morning on their stupid helicopter and woke up Skylar? Say hi! Read critic reviews. But it wasn't a poisonous silence. BENI-FUCKING-HANA? Donnie Azoff: 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You, 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, Your email address will not be published. Naomi Lapaglia: It's actually an utterly entertaining and hilarious joy ride. Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? Champagne. I still have family over there, though. Let me tell you something else. They were priced between three and five hundred dollars and made you wear a condom unless you gave them a hefty tip, which I always did. After all, the IRS knew about this sort of stuff, didnt they? That being said its the kind of movie that I can watch over and over again, especially the first 40 minutes that shows Belforts rise to riches. Naomi Lapaglia: I want a divorce. Is he is he wearing a bowtie? It's flooded! By the early 1990s, while still in his 20s, Belfort founds his own firm, Stratton Oakmont. There was this one time I was selling pot to this Amish dude. Alden Kupferberg: Chantalle: I just came. They're fuckin' - the things they're doing now, Pops, I mean, I mean, it's on a whole other level. And act as if you are already a tremendous success, and as sure as I stand here today - you will become successful., You dont choose who you fall in love with, do you? Naomi and I got along. I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! Drugs. Is that right? What a fucking burden! The Wolf of Wall Street is a memoir by a former stockbroker and trader Jordan Belfort, first published in September 2007. I fucked up so bad. Welcome back. Right! You were on the floor rollin' around and shit. I want you to deal with your problems by becoming rich! And with this script, which is your new harpoon, I'm gonna teach each and every one of you to be Captain fucking Ahab. What? That's why all this confusion. I fucking hate you, Jordan! Donnie and I were going out on our own. If you have 60 seconds, I'd like to share the idea with you. Mark Hanna: Naomi Lapaglia: Brad, show them how it's done. 4. Jordan Belfort: That's why we at Stratton Oakmont pride ourselves on being the best. That's right, I forgot. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Your hair looks good. [bursting into laughter] I mean, you're a duchess right, the Duchess of Bay Ridge. is an initial public offering. My name is Jordan Belfort. Who is she? Is it Wednesday already? Jordan Belfort: The movie is being directed by Martin Scorsese, stars Leonardo DiCaprio, and is based on the autobiography of Wall Street castaway, Jordan Belfort. They're up my ass. Jordan Belfort: The nice thing about being rescued by Italians is that they feed you, make you drink red wine, then you get to dance. Sell me this pen! Mark Hanna: Naomi Lapaglia: Daddy's really sorry about what he said in the other room, he didn't mean any of it! Jordan Belfort: You got a minute? I'm gonna kill myself. What are your favorite Wolf of Wall Street quotes? Their fathers are douchebags, just like their fathers before them. Its because you have not learnt enough. She brought in a decorator, feng shui'd the whole place. They're gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, cos I ain't going nowhere! Sort: Relevant Newest # movies # leonardo dicaprio # martin scorsese # wolf of wall street # the wolf of wall street All Id done was taken the small liberty of moving things to their logical conclusion, changing T and E to T and A: Tits and Ass!, If I earn a million dollars a week and the average American earns a thousand dollars a week, then when I spend twenty thousand dollars on something its the equivalent of the average American spending twenty dollars on something, right?, But what I sincerely hope is that my life serves as a cautionary tale to the rich and poor alike; to anyone whos living with a spoon up their nose and a bunch of pills dissolving in their stomach sac; or to any person whos considering taking a God-given gift and misusing it; to anyone who decides to go to the dark side of the force and live a life of unbridled hedonism. There is no nobility in poverty. More importantly, you will learn. And once you do fall in lovethat obsessive sort of love, that all-consuming love, where two people cant stand to be apart from each other for even a momenthow are you supposed to let a love like that pass you by? Jordan Belfort. Don't you fucking dare. Naomi Lapaglia: Go at it. Are you behind on your credit card bills? Doesn't even matter to you! He was making so much money selling Quaaludes that he become the Quaalude King of Bayside. The 4.95-acre equestrian estate comes with a wine cellar, a ten-stall stable, and a saltwater pool. No way, baby, no! Sides? Jordan Belfort: You had to deal with the gold course people, too! ~ Jordan Belfort. I love you. No, I'm not fucking letting you near my kids! Really, really great. Fuck. Right? It will save us both a lot of money and I got a feeling you're gonna need it. It is perhaps the best thing I've seen in the last six months. Actually, the madness started on our very first day, when one of our brokers, Ben Jenner, christened the elevator by getting a blow job from the sales assistant. Do you really think that I don't know what you're up to? I have been a rich man and I have been a poor man. 3 2 1, let's fuck! Donnie Azoff: Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. Act as if youre a wealthy man, rich already, and then youll surely become rich. It got so bad, I had to declare the office a fuck-free zone between the hours of 9 and 7. Jordan Belfort: I do it cause I fuckin' need to. You just made love to me. Captain Ted Beecham: Stratton Oakmont. I mean, what if something like that happened? Keep talking, you fucking piece of shit! Absolutely not but we were making more money then we knew what to do with. Jordan Belfort, There is no such thing as bad publicity. Coming Soon. ~ Jordan Belfort. Donnie Azoff: I didn't even want to bring it up. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. But before you depart this room full of winners, I want you to take a good look at the person next to you. My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan! Bald as as China doll. Donnie. Don't do that. Can I finish eating first? Right there? 15 Outrageous Scenes In Martin Scorsese's 'Wolf Of Wall Street' We Can't Wait To See. What, you wanna go inside and blow some lines of baking powder, baking soda? You know those guys who got like the beard with, like, no mustache or some bullshit? You understand? Get away from the window! It's the first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population. You can give generously to the church or political party of your choice.